Ngozi Fulani was questioned about her background by Lady Susan Hussey at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday - later likening it to "an interrogation".
Lady Hussey has since left her honorary role within the Royal Household.
She has offered her "profound apologies" through a Palace statement.
In the statement on Wednesday, the Palace said they had "reached out to Ngozi Fulani on this matter" - but the next day, Ms Fulani told the BBC no direct contact had been made.
The BBC now understands dialogue is taking place with Ms Fulani's team - but at this stage no further details are being shared.
Speaking to BBC Radio 4's Today programme on Thursday, Ms Fulani said: "It was like an interrogation.
"I guess the only way I can explain it, she's determined: 'Where are you from? Where are your people from?'"
Ms Fulani also rebuffed suggestions that Lady Hussey's remarks had anything to do with her age.
She had been representing her charity, which supports women of African and Caribbean heritage across the UK who have faced domestic and sexual abuse, at the event.
Lady Hussey's remarks overshadowed the Prince and Princess of Wales's trip to Boston.
At the time, a spokesperson for Prince William said "racism has no place in our society".
He added: "The comments were unacceptable, and it is right that the individual has stepped aside with immediate effect."
Ms Fulani's team has been approached for comment about the latest dialogue.
Charity boss Ngozi Fulani says Buckingham Palace experience felt like violence